“Ping Pong Ball of Fear,” by Drew Gardner

Who could possibly be afraid of a featherweight, hollow, small plastic ball? Well, it has scared the hell out of me. While playing table tennis (ping-pong) with a skilled opponent, I fear losing the contest. I have won and have known that mild euphoria. I have lost and known that perceived disgrace. Table tennis is one metaphor for fear and how it operates.

As the ball approaches and lands on my side of the table, fear comes with it. The only way to deal with this fear is to send it back to the opponent and his or her side. Unless he/she is completely dominant at the game, he or she becomes fearful. What can he or she do but return the fear of point loss right back to me?

Even such a seemingly benign game has the effect of exciting the sympathetic nervous system to demand focus, dialate the pupils, and heighten fears.

When I have lost, I have felt inferior. When I have won, I have also felt bad for dominating or conquering an opponent, empathizing with his or her bad feelings.

It is shocking to me that Aikido has not become more popular than every professional sport. However, many people have “been sold a bill of goods” as Dobson writes in “Aikido in Everyday Life: Giving in to Get Your Way.” The happiest I have been is out of all realms of competition, utilizing Aikido philosophy and occasionally physical technique when necessary, to truly find euphoria in nonresistance, nonviolence, or even petty competition. I have found that the roller coaster that embodies excitement and thrills is the same one that ensures disappointment and an inner hollowness. So many will never agree with what I just said because their bad habits strengthen daily. Returning to a life with more gladness is outside most Westerners’ realm of comprehension. They will not even give it a solid attempt because they are so stuck, with fear of change, in their ways.